Desperation and Importance
“If it is important, I will find a way; if it is not, I will find an excuse.” This was tabled as a topic for a meeting. As the meeting unfolded, we saw the connection between importance and desperation.
A fellow who had come back to the Rooms after a slip; admitted, “my work, marriage and money all became more important than my sobriety. Instead of finding a way to go to meetings, I found excuses, rather than finding a way to keep in touch and work the Steps, I found excuses. I had excuses for not meditating, then excuses for not praying and excuses for not going to meetings.” He summarized, saying, “I am back at Step #1.”
He was desperate. Desperate enough to seek help, to find a way to get to a meeting. Life had provided him with the Gift of Desperation, and sobriety had become important again. He was finding ways to engage the Program, rather than excuses to avoid the Program.
This story demonstrates the strong linkage between desperation and importance. And the problem that comes from relying on desperation to make sobriety important.
If a man is dying of thirst in the desert, water is important. He will find a way to get to an oasis, and excuses will not occur to him. After his thirst is satisfied, water becomes less important. He will find excuses to wander away from the oasis. It is no longer important that he maintain his source of water.