Dishonest Motives

On awakening, we think about the 24 hours ahead.

Before we begin, we ask God “to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.”

Before considering the day, we clear the decks with this three-part prayer.

The first part of the prayer, divorce our thinking from self-pity; this makes sense. A feeling of self-pity is rarely helpful and never flattering. To have a sense of self-pity in our thinking is a bad start to the day. If we premise our thinking on feeling poorly and put upon, our first reaction to anything is likely to be either tears or rage. Neither is conducive to breakfast conversation.

The second part of the prayer consists of two divorces, dishonesty and self-seeking — motives.

Wow, hold on here, not dishonesty and self-seeking actions. Instead, dishonest and self-seeking motives. What is going on? Why not dishonest and self-seeking actions and behaviours? Why focus on motives?

I reflected on this and saw the wisdom in focusing on motives rather than actions. Motives are sneaky and twisted; I need all the help I can get.

I thought about the times I had publicly lectured someone, with the apparent motive of correcting them and setting an example, realizing only later that the true motive was avoiding responsibility and shame in front of everyone. I remembered charitable donations with a public motive of altruism and a private motive of praise and honour for my generosity. I thought of the times I had been asked to make public presentations, displaying a motive of service but, in my heart, relishing the praise and adoration.

Acts, both good and bad, were based on dishonest motives. Dishonest because the public and presented motives did not correspond to my secret and authentic purposes. Skillfully and unconsciously, I dishonestly covered my unattractive motives with sophisticated saleable motives.

As I said, sneaky and twisted.

This sneaky and twisted phenomenon is beyond my ability to change or manage. I need help from a Higher Power, so I must start every day by praying, “please direct my thinking and divorce it from self-seeking and dishonest motives, especially the sneaky and twisted motive cover-ups.”

If I do this, at least I begin the day right. It may go to hell later, but at least I start in the right direction.