Forgiveness is a Habit

I have many good habits, some are secular and spiritual, and one great fusion habit that brings the virtues of both. Like a fusion meal, the fusion habit is a blend of the best.

Secular Habits

I have good secular habits like working out, taking small portions, and buying flowers for my wife.

These secular habits bring secular benefits: working out increases fitness, taking small portions helps with weight control and buying flowers creates a better home life.

And secular habits save mental time and energy. I don’t have to think or decide. Without a thought or decision, I hit the gym. Every Wednesday I buy flowers for my wife, without considering every pro or con. Setting the table with a small plate removes the debate about how much food to take. Secular habits allow me to live efficiently, without mental interruptions or wasted energy.

And secular habits are a substitute for discipline. Getting dressed is a trigger to pack my gym bag for my workout. Wednesdays are a trigger for flowers. None of these actions seems forced; habits replace discipline.

Secular habits are built. Forcing myself into the gym the first few times was hard. But persisting, I formed a habit. Over time, I saw the fitness results and connected them to the habit of going to the gym. Likewise, with buying my wife flowers, it took some time to see the rewards and connect the action to Wednesdays, but mindful persistence paid off.

Spiritual Habits

And I have good spiritual habits like meditation, prayer, and self-examination. Like secular habits, spiritual habits have spiritual rewards. Feelings of love, conscious awareness of my Higher Power, and self-esteem are some of the rewards, others include a sense that life is on a firm foundation, and peace and serenity.

And habituated spiritual habits save mental time and energy. First, I don’t spend time weighing the pros and cons of the habits, and second, with the mental tumult calmed down, I am more efficient and productive.

My spiritual habits are a substitute for discipline. They become automatic and more frequent. With well embedded spiritual habits I don’t need to be disciplined.

The Fusion Habit

But one habit is a special habit, it is a fusion of the spiritual and secular, working in both the secular and spiritual domains. That is the habit of forgiving.

Like other habits, forgiveness took time. It was a hard habit to grow. It seemed easier to wallow in feelings of indignation and irritation than to deal with them constructively. And like other habits, the rewards for forgiving were not immediate; it took some mindful practice to see the benefits. But once embedded as a ‘go to’ reaction, discipline was not required.

The forgiveness habit has all the qualities of both secular and spiritual habits. But forgiveness is a special fusion habit. It amplifies the rewards on both secular and spiritual planes.

Forgiving habitually amplifies secular benefits — less time wasted brooding over slights and wrongs and less energy spent gossiping or plotting revenge. I was living more efficiently.

Forgiving habitually amplifies spiritual benefits — love, peace, serenity, and increased conscious awareness of my Higher Power.

Good habits are good, but the fusion habit of forgiving is the best. It amplifies all the virtues and rewards.