Learning from Amends

In Chapter 8 of the Twelve Steps and Twelve
Traditions, Bill W. makes a point about Step 8 of our Program — with amends we
can and should extract as much as we can about ourselves and how we are acting
and working.

Step eight and nine can yield as much information
about ourselves as Steps four and ten.

Making a list of people we have affected and then
making the relationship right is like holding a mirror up to our actions. We
can see the reality of who and what we harmed. We can see the consequences of
what we have done.

We all know the expression, “I cannot hear what
you are saying because of the volume of what you are doing.” Actions speak
louder than words at all times and in all circumstances. The results of our
actions have a similar volume.

When we make amends, we have not just our version
of things. We have an interested party and often ask them, “Have I covered
everything?” and find to our horror that from their perspective, we have missed
a great deal of the harms that we caused.

Often our ‘affected persons’ have suggestions as
to what we can do, or cease doing, that we had not considered.

So, Steps 8 and 9 are great feedback loops to
show us more about ourselves.