My Disease is Doing Pushups
It is often said, “I might be sitting in the rooms of AA, but my disease is in the hallway doing push-ups.”
There is a usual meaning to this phrase: our desire to drink may seem to have vanished, but watch out, it is waiting nearby, and getting stronger while its waiting.
This week an AA brother added a twist to this old saying.
He began, “alcoholism may have been my problem, but my disease was caused by my ego, self-centred ways, and self-centred thinking.”
He continued, “and, the three of them, ego, self-centred ways, and self-centred thinking are in the hallway working out together. I am constantly battling my ego and my overwhelming sense of self-importance.
“And they have learned to cross-train. At this moment, my ego is doing push-ups, my self-centred ways are on the weight machine, and my self-centred thinking is on the treadmill. They do rotations through the gym, giving each other ‘high fives’ as they meet. They are training for the next opportunity.
“I have been sober for a while now, and they have been training all through that time. My self-centered character defects are stronger now than when I came into the rooms of AA. That means that I must be stronger as well.
“Because they are getting fitter it takes more power to resist them. I need more power to match the improved fitness level of my three-part disease. It is not just drinking; it is all the ego driven defects that will take over my life if I am not en garde and spiritually fit.
“Lack of power was my dilemma before, and unless I have increased power, lack of power will be my dilemma again.”
It was a great share. Drinking may not be the immediate problem. For many long timers, self-will is the more proximate problem.
As we stay sober longer, our ego-fed disease is getting stronger, not weaker, and sneakier as well.
For this, we need God even more, as we trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
Fortunately, as the life of our old-timer speaker demonstrates, increased reliance on a Higher Power increases our joy and power.
