Serenity Is Not Avoiding the Storm

“If my sober life was not a better life, I would go back to drinking.” “If I did not have fun sober, I would go back to drinking.” These phrases are sometimes heard in the rooms of AA; they are framed innocently and coupled with a testimony that the speaker’s life is better because he is sober.

The speakers are, at the moment, happy, joyous, and free.

The sentiment is innocent and attractive. But under the innocence lurks a danger.

This sentiment can become situational sobriety, and that is dangerous sobriety. It is dependent on circumstances and situations. If those change, sobriety can change.

Situational sobriety, premised on gaiety and continuous joy, will work in the beginning, during our initial spiritual awakening.

Before we sobered up, the pain was unbearable; life had become astoundingly difficult. When we stopped drinking, people around us who were sick and tired of our behaviour now welcomed us with open arms. Wives, employers, police, and judges celebrated and wished us well. Life was good.

This surge of relief and joy can last for days and weeks. We experience the notorious pink cloud. We have had a spiritual awakening, an awakening which is sufficient to allow us a reprieve from our addiction.

However, relief and happiness are often exaggerated because we started so low. It is the relief that comes with the cessation of head-banging on the wall. It is not permanent; it is nature’s way of incenting us to stay around long enough for another spiritual awakening.

But many don’t allow the subsequent spiritual awakenings that teach us serenity is not avoiding the storm but weathering the storm.

The promise of our program is not a change in our circumstances; it is a change in us. We are not promised a calm and storm-free life; we are promised a calm and storm-free character. Without these subsequent spiritual awakenings, the newly sober cannot weather the storm. The storm will be unpleasant and difficult. The storm may be nothing more than life on life’s terms, which makes it all the more difficult. Regardless, spiritual progress is needed to match the storm and weather it.

When the pink cloud dissipates, we face life, and life does not care what we think or desire. Life is indifferent to our need to tip-toe through the tulips with a skip in our step. Life operates on life’s terms.

For sobriety that is not context-sensitive, the cessation of pain is not enough. And feeling good is not sufficient. We need another spiritual awakening. In modern AA, we sometimes lack the discipline to point this out. We chatter on about how great a sober life can be. Some even say things like the quote I started with, “if life were not better, I would go back to drinking.”