Skid Marks

My sponsor shared a story with me.

A driver accused of causing a car accident was on the stand. The lawyer started his questioning, “when you saw the other car, what did you do?”

The driver said, “I was driving carefully, paying attention. I was some distance from the intersection. I saw the other car move into my path and I immediately slammed on the brakes.”

The lawyer thought for a moment, “that’s all that I have for now, thanks.”

“My next witness,” said the lawyer, “is a consulting engineer who specializes in accident reconstruction.”

The engineer took the stand. He explained that he had examined the accident site, took detailed measurements, and also reviewed the driver’s cell phone records.

“The driver has said that when he was paying attention. From some distance away from the intersection, he saw the other car and immediately applied his brakes.” The lawyer then asked, “What does the evidence you studied tell you about this recollection?”

“Well,” said the witness, “it is clear that he did not immediately apply the brakes. The skid marks he left were less than a meter from the point of impact. His cell phone records indicate that he had been sending a text just before the accident.”

The skid marks and evidence did not lie. The driver was mistaken in his thinking.

I was talking with my sponsor because I’d had a difficult conversation with my wife. He asked me to “describe the conversation, including your expectations and tone.”

“Well,” I replied, “I certainly did not have any expectations. I offered some constructive criticism in a polite manner. My attitude was one of love. Then, without warning, she got upset.”

My sponsor shared the story about the car accident, the trial, and the engineer.

When he finished the story about the trial, he said, “Let’s look at your domestic accident scene. Right after you offered your comments, your wife became upset; immediately, you were shouting at each other. If the conversation was on trial, an accident reconstruction engineer might say, ‘looking at the skid marks, it would seem that you expected your wife would be grateful for your criticisms; and the damage suggests that your tone was sharp and aggressive.’ The skid marks suggest that your thinking about the conversation was mistaken.”

Damn sponsors, damn reconstruction engineers.