The Crown Jewel of the 12-Step Program
Discover the Power of Making Amends
In Step Nine, we make amends. Making amends is a Crown Jewel of our Program. The Crown Jewel is the most beautiful and largest gemstone in a royal crown. Not the only jewel; there are other jewels all around the crown, but it is a big one.
The practice of restitution and making amends was a core Oxford Group value. Making restitution was one of the many Oxford Group practices integrated into our Program.
The founder of the Oxford Group, Frank Buchman, was the first to learn this principle. He had been the CEO of an organization. The Board criticized his decisions. He reacted poorly, belligerently defending his actions, and quit in a huff. Later, a crucial part of his spiritual epiphany, which led to the creation of the Oxford Group, was his realization that he had to make amends to the Board. That early lesson embedded amends in the DNA of the Oxford Group. And this, in turn, was inherited through the AA Founders to the 12-Step Fellowships.
Today amends are made by millions of participants in various 12-Step Programs. We have learned the benefits of this practice. Every day we learn the importance of restitution and amends. Spiritual connections with our Higher Powers are enriched. Emotionally we experience the joys of release and freedom. Psychologically we enhance our self-esteem by doing estimable things. All these consequences flow from restitutive amends.
The spiritual, emotional and psychological benefits arise automatically. However, these are only some of the benefits; if we meet the required condition, other benefits flow from making amends. The condition required for these additional benefits is a modicum of awareness and mindfulness.
If we mindfully make an amend, we learn about ourselves; we see more about ourselves and our actions. And we learn the reality of our character defects in a tangible and meaningful way.
If we are inventorying, tracking, and monitoring our amends, we can learn from the repetitive amends. If an amend is repeated, and we are aware of this repetition, we see the pattern in our behaviour, leading to powerful lessons and actions.
First, we can see that we were powerless over this behaviour, evidenced by the continuous repetition. Then we can see that the problem, like our drinking, was not something outside of us; it was inside; it was our sanity. Next, we could turn the matter over to God by bringing God to mind in moments of disturbance or decision; bring God to mind before the behaviours kick in. And we might write about these behaviours, then talk about them with our sponsors or spiritual coaches. In other words, apply the Principles of the Program to this behaviour, this “affair.”
Making amends is a Crown Jewel of a habit with many facets. The automatic benefits of spiritual growth, emotional satisfaction and psychological growth are enough reasons to habituate making amends, facets in the gem. But, like any crown jewel, there are beautiful facets all around the gem; mindful awareness while making amends yields other pleasant surprises.
