The Grateful Heart is Not Controlling
Gratitude is the go-to topic for many AA meetings. When there is a call for topics, someone will often fill the inevitable silence with “Gratitude,” and everyone will nod.
I have heard so many shares on Gratitude I came to believe I had indeed ‘heard it all.’
But last night, I was surprised by a new take on Gratitude, she said, “The grateful heart is not interested in controlling things.”
Wow, what a great aphorism; it is like a three-tool Swiss Army knife: insightful, useful, and effective.
First, it is insightful.
When I am not grateful, I want to control everything to get things to a state where I can be suitably grateful. When I am grateful, I am content with things as they are; I have accepted the world as it is. If I am accepting, I do not need to control. And if I am grateful, I am accepting. The link is clear, but only after I think about it, and I thought about it only after I had heard this summary, the grateful heart has no desire to control.
And it is effective.
Effective at managing my ego. When I am not grateful, I believe I can change things to improve them if only I could control them. Only then would I be grateful. (And the world would also be grateful for my leadership, prescience, and wisdom. LOL) This ego-driven desire necessarily leads me to try to control things. When I am grateful, I know my place in the universe and understand the limits of my ability to control things. Understanding those limits, the desire to control vanishes. Gratitude immediately reduces my ego.
And it is useful.
It is an excellent spiritual tool. If I try to control things, I can eliminate this desire by becoming grateful. I can pause, see the good in the situation or circumstance, and remove the desire to control. If I am trying to control things, I have a spiritual mirror that shows that I am not grateful. With that identified, I can strive to be grateful. And this will cure my inappropriate control desires. This aphorism is valuable; it is both a mirror and a tool.
The grateful heart is not interested in control — an insightful, effective and useful aphorism — an emotional Swiss Army knife.
