What Step 1 in AA Really Means for Relapse Recovery

“I was working with a young man who had some sober time in the Program, then relapsed. He was coming back, and we met for coffee.

Over coffee, he almost seemed proud of his shame. He went on and on, saying, “I’m such a prick, I’m so stupid, I gave it all up, I drank again, and now I have criminal charges and lost all my sober time.” As I say, he went on and on with the same spiel.

Separating Identity from Relapse Behavior

Finally, I interrupted him and said, “I have to push back a bit; you’re making yourself the center of the problem. You’re claiming that you are a prick. No, you drank, and drinking made you prickish. You claim that you are stupid. No, you weren’t stupid; you were undisciplined and complacent. You lost track of your program. Yes, you did drink again, but that’s what alcoholics do when they don’t pay attention.

The Genius of Step 1: Simplicity and Truth

“Let’s go back to Step 1. There are only two truths that you must agree to: that you are powerless over alcohol and that your life is unmanageable. You are not asked to admit that you are stupid or a prick, just that you are powerless over alcohol and your life is unmanageable.

“That is part of the genius of what Bill wrote. If you agree with Step 1, you will stop making yourself the center of this problem. You will make a simple admission, and based on what happened in this slip, it is an admission of fact, not theory.”